Weekend plans!

Just thinking about all my plans for this weekend gets me excited! : ) So I thought I would share them with you.

Today (Friday) :

Cleaning (lame)

Rachel's party!

Tomorrow (Saturday) :

Rachel's party!

Breast cancer awareness car wash (come! At Les Schwab!)

Movie day!

DRIVE-IN!!! Transformers and HP!!!! WOO!!

Sunday:

Church

Relax (I hope)

Get out of 4-H meeting by going to evening service : )

House party!

Should be fun! : ) I can't wait!!!

Happy days!

I'm in a really good mood today! : ) I think it's largely due to the fact the my house is COLD!!! It's 67 degrees in here! I am loving it! Unfortunately that means I have no excuse not to clean, but maybe that will help my mood even more. Today should be a good day!

Dwindling friends.

I would love to take off a few peoples' heads right now.

You'd think that after complaining that I don't get invited to group things, that people would invite me. Also, you trust that when your best friend says she's going to do something with you one day, rather than with someone else another day, she'll stick to that. Am I really expecting too much?

It's bad enough to not invite me to a groyp thing, but it's something you knew I wanted to do! What in the world is wrong?

The Sugar Plum Fairy is ignoring my e-mails, and the Love Bug is not calling me back. Maybe I'm left with Rachel, Nicki and Cameron as my friends. What a sad existance.

A Missions Trip to remember.

Oh man, where to begin?

Missions trip was AH-MAZING. I didn't want to leave! Montana is gorgeous, and for those of you that know me, I am a nature freak so the setting was perfect for me. I loved all of the kids, even Jesse who was so annoying he insisted on biting me. Yes you read that right. I have pretty good patience when it comes to kids, but that boy certainly knew how to stretch it.

I have to admit I was a tad worried when we found out Lindsay and I were in the same group again, because I love her to death and would have had a miserable trip if we had fought. But I put my fears aside, and actually it worked quite well! Lindsay was an amazing puppeteer when I taught, and helped curb my fears of teaching the lesson. I owe so much to her! : )

Half way through the week, two sisters joined from down the street who had just moved from Oregon! They were both very well behaved and were the sweetest things since chocolate. Sharlene seemed to like me better, but I admit I liked Shaylynn better. She was quiet, and I prefer the quiet ones better. They were both tons of fun though.

Since this is the last youth group trip for the seniors, a lot of tears were shed on the trip home. I was actually sobbing into my sweatshirt. I'm really gonna miss all the great people in the youth group. : (

I really love playing matchmaker. : )

Leanne and I went to Art in the Park yesterday. Although it was hot and most of the booths were lame, it was nice hanging out with her. Then I had a lame 4-H meeting, but I got out early because of evening service. Which happened to be pretty pointless because SOMEONE was being extremely embarrassing! lol

Today I'm hoping to go to the church to help clean out the vans (and see Lindsay!) and then there's Truth Project tonight. I love hanging out with my friends! : )

Montana, here we come!

I swear I will die without AC. The house is 85 degrees! I need ice cream.

I leave tomorrow at 5:30 AM for Coram, Montana. So early! But we're doing a VBS like we did in Avenal, so I'm really excited! I actually need to pack, which is where I'm headed next. But I thought I would do a blog first so all my non-Mission Trip friends would know. I'll be back late next Saturday, so I probably won't post until Sunday or Monday. See you all then!

Sugar Plum Fairy.

The Sugar Plum Fairy. Always said to be sweet, charming, and light-spirited. And while my Sugar Plum Fairy might fit that description most of the time, there is another word I think of.

Aggravating.

She's is sweet, caring and loving, I will give her that, but sometimes I wish she would let up a little on the caring act. Sometimes I just want to hide from her.

I find this ironic, because I love fairies.

Great day!

I did so much today!

I went on Oregon CIS (the site we used for Careers) and updated my resume and wrote a cover letter. It took a couple of hours, but they turned out pretty good if I do say so myself. : ) I went up to my dad's, got money for watching Cassie, and took Cassie and Carter with me down to All Pets. I had to wait a bit to talk to Lori, but when I did she was very nice and remembered who I was! We chatted for a bit before I left. I feel very good about it, and I think that unless she absolutely doesn't need another worker, there's no way I wouldn't be offered a job.

We bought ice cream at Dollar Tree, and then headed to my bank. I deposited my checks, and got money! : D I now have $150 sitting in my purse, and $110 in my account.

Once I got back I cleaned up my room, and moved one of my bags of stuff in from the garage.

This day was very productive! Now if only I was going to the midnight showing of Harry Potter, this day would be fantastic. Oh well.

Hope everyone else had a great day!

Random blurbs.

I've been reading the True Colors series, and I'm currently on Moon White, the one about Wicca. Man has it given me a lot to think about.

I typed up part A of my secret plan. Now to get the piece for part B, and figure put what to do for part C! I'm nervous...

I miss her. A lot.

Yesterday is on my mind.

Yesterday.... yesterday gave me a lot to think about. I finished reading a book that applies to my relationship with one of my friends, and it made me re-think it a little bit. Like maybe we aren't really meant to be friends. I don't know. On top of that I have to make a resume and take it down to All Pets IN PERSON. I am way not looking forward to that. I concocted a plan for making the next 4 years easier, but it's not fully ready yet. I told my ideas to one person last night, and in the process set myself up for having one of my poems read and got ANOTHER book to read, this time by Sunday. How I get myself into these positions, I don't know. Now I'm sitting here trying to figure out if I should go tonight, because I'm not sure if I even want to. A part of me does, to see my friend again, but another part of me feels like something... bad is going to happen. Maybe I'm being paranoid. Maybe I'm scared. I don't really know either way, all I know is I need to decide soon, because it's almost noon and I'm supposed to be there at 3!

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French word.

peu sûr - unsure

I'm unsure what to do, and what is to come.

Desires of the heart.

I feel very proud of myself right now.

I finished all of my Bones episodes, did my secret 14 day thing, readied the downstairs for our new washer (finally!), and it's only 1:30! I do need to work on my daily to-do list still, but most of it is for the evening times. I now need to clean up the living room, tidy the garage stairs (for the washing machine people), finish cleaning my room, start moving stuff into my room, and clean up the kitchen. Quite a bit to do before my mom gets home! Luckily my room isn't a priority for today. : ) I'm hoping that being more active and cleaning more will help me get out of my lazy slump. I don't even have the desire to read the 4 books sitting in my room! (Two of which are Pastor Nate's and I've had for a month, one that was due back at church on Sunday that isn't finished, and one I just bought two days ago.)

Tonight the college group is heading out to the Kerschner's for a slip'n'slide. I am not a fan of slip'n'slides, so I plan to bring my sketchbook, my current reading book, and my to-do list to keep me busy. If I even get bored that is. ; )

Well, I suppose I should get back to the world of cleaning, before my mother discovers my lazy body laying on the couch without my chores done. That would not go well! See you all soon!

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French word time!

désir - desire

Hopefully my cleaning mood will turn into a permanent desire! : )

End of the day thoughts.

I'm finding it hard to get up the nerve to call the pet store to simply ask if they have any job openings. Lori is intimidating! I'm planning on calling tomorrow, but we'll see. : /

I miss Becky. : ( I feel like I haven't seen her in days, even though it was just last night, and I won't be able to talk to her until tomorrow night, and that's if she's not busy. Plus I want to go scope the book store closing sale with her this week, but I'm not sure she'll have the time. I just feel like we're not going to have the same friendship we used to.

Missions trip work day tomorrow! Off to bed now. : )

Job = Money.

I started job hunting today. My top two places are the pet store (All Pets) and the book store (Reading Time Books). Unfortunately, both are closed on Mondays. I now have to wait until tomorrow to see if they even have openings available. At least I'll get money, since my job now isn't calling me for hours. If anyone knows of places in Dallas that are hiring, let me know!

Memories fade away, while we remain here.

I suppose I don't really know how I feel right now.

I got a little bit more information about the impending situation yesterday, and it broke my heart even more. A part of me is leaving, going on to her own path and leaving me broken behind. I suppose I can't blame her for wanting to leave. Dallas is boring, but it's home. We're all here, and we're all hopefully going to stay. Right? The silence echoes and only makes me feel worse.

We're going to Salem today. Shopping two weeks in a row! : ) We need to finish an earlier conversation, and I'm not really looking forward to it. Not that I don't want to talk about it or ignore it, I just don't want to cry. And I know I will. I already miss her, and she hasn't even left yet.

I decided to post a few inside jokes from all the years we've been together. Enjoy!

-I'm gonna dump in Debra's bag!

-Paul in the hall who pays with balls

-Drive in parties (not inside jokes, but certainly fun times)

-I need to squeeze the lemon!

-Patches, late night sleepovers at Rachel's, and Nicki and I : ) (And a drawing of Nicki and myself... -shudders-)

-Pants are too restraining!

*I know there are tons more, but I can't think of any right now. I'll update as I think of more.*

So many memories...

All gone in a heartbeat.

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French word!

souvenirs - memories

All the memories that will soon be gone.

The childhood I once knew is gone.

I had always hoped that college was just a passing dream, that we'd never really get there. Now that it's here, how do I feel?

Hurt. A little betrayed.

Why hurt? I had hoped that the bonds we shared would last forever; they were a bond that could never be broken, no matter what happened. Now I'm not so sure. As I try to accept the impending loss of my closest friends, another piece of news shatters my heart. One of my friends will not be around much the rest of the summer. As I read this on my phone screen, my vision blurs as the tears flow freely. How could this happen? Why now, of all times? I don't understand. I feel as though a part of my past is being taken away as well. There will never be another to replace them; they are and will always be unique. As the pain fades slightly, it still seethes beneath my happy mask. It will always be there, a constant shadow of what will never be again.

Betrayed? A little. The wonderful plans that I had hoped would strengthen the already fraying bonds between friends have been cast aside, replaced with plans that only seem to pull friends farther apart. Is it me? Is this why you chose that? I guess I don't blame you. You always wanted to make it easier for me, a clean break.

Well, as the song says:

Just walk away,

Don't look back.

'Cause if my heart breaks

It's gonna hurt so bad.

You know I'm strong,

But I can't take that,

Before it's too late:

Just walk away.

The childhood I once knew is gone.

NOTE: This blog is not meant to be mean in any way. It is just me explaining how I feel.

Rotten day.

I want to cry.

I am stressed, my toe is throbbing (I tripped up the steps again) and people are just downright aggravating. Ever have one of those days?

Leanne & Lindsay - My personal superheroes.

I love my best friends. They are pretty much amazing! : )

Becky - Thank you for always being there, and for putting up with me no matter how rude I am. And thanks again for being there for me today. I luffs you! <3

Lindsay - I know you do not feel that I am your best friend while I feel you are mine, and that has caused a few fights, all on my part. You are one of the most sensitive people I know, and you have helped me greatly with my moods. And your hair is splendiferous! : D I luffs you too! <3

I know this is random, but I really do love you both a ton. I don't think you will ever realize how much. : )