"Wonderful" day

So apparently she might die now. This day just keeps getting better and better.

Well, it's over. I have a step-sister. And a step-mom.

I really did cry pretty much the whole way there, and I begged Leanne the whole time to just take me home. She wouldn't do it.

It went pretty well, although Cassie and I sat down early because I was getting dizzy and she can't sit still that long. Then when I went to take the rings back up (yes, I was the ringbearer) my dad tried to put on the wrong ring.

Other than that it was fine.

I'm glad my mom is not getting remarried.

Disaster Wedding

The closer we get to West Salem, the more I feel like crying.

I don't want to go. I don't want him to get remarried.

A sister? Really?

I just realized that in 4 days, I will have a sister. Not a "sister", as in Leanne, but a reall honest to goodness sister. Yes, she'll only be my step-sister, but still. That's so strange to think about! This might the only good thing to come out of this marriage.

I'm a little excited now. :)

Yay yay yay!

I have a desk!!! :D

My old one is downstairs, but my room is too small for it so I wanted a new one. My mom found one half price at Greatwill (Reference, anyone? Leanne, you better know it...) and bought it and it fits perfectly in my corner! It's almost done being decorated now and once the downstairs cleans out enough I can move my chair up. :)

Ah the simple pleasures of life...

Josh update

So....

I am talking to Josh again. I have been thinking, and I realize the "break up" didn't hit me that hard (I didn't even cry!) and he was a really good friend and I was starting to miss our conversations.

So....

We agreed to remain friends. Friends only, nothing more.

I feel so much better. :)

Contemplation....

I'm just wondering what is happening with everyone lately... Everything is changing and I'm not sure if it's all for the good...

A friend has changed so much... I have too.... But I feel it's for the better, and now she is like the opposite of me, like we switched personalities.... And it's hard to accept... I'm not sure what to do because I love her and she's a great friend but I'm not sure I can deal with the personality change...

Relationships are falling apart, both bf/gf ones and friendships... Another friend is losing her bf of almost 8 months and is telling me about it... It's hard because I can't and won't choose sides... But I hurt for both of them... And my dad is getting married New Year's Eve and is having major issues with Roberta... Why are relationships so hard? The one most important one in my life I feel is falling apart... And it hurts... But I wonder if it's just me...

I realized this weekend how much my mom means to me.... She was gone from Friday until Sunday evening, but I didn't see her Friday so I missed her so much... And not only did she come back, but she brought back squeaky cheese, egg nog and Dr. Pepper... I love her so much and I'm so glad I chose to live with her.

Life just feels so dead... I feel like I'm just going through life and nothing is happening except that I'm maturing and becoming mellow and everyone else is changing to the way I was... Is that a good thing or not? I don't know what to do anymore.

Create your own

Not again...

Great... Another decision to add to my list.

What to do?

Pray I suppose. A lot. And talk to Leanne.

This one will be the hardest yet.