My thoughts on stress

Now as I write this, I am supposed to be finishing up my health midterm. Oops :P But this blog is actually about health, so I suppose it's okay.

I am writing the section on stress, where I have to list my stressors. As I think back over the past year, I realize it has been one year since my parents separated! It seems so much longer. I swear, I can remember every fight they've had over that twelve month period. And believe me, it sucked.

However....

I realize I have gotten so much better through all of this. I don't cry as often (yes, I still do, can't ever get rid of the cry-baby!), I get along with my brother much better, and I have an adorable and loving little sister. And as everyone knows, I have ALWAYS wanted a sister. :) While she may have her bratty temper tantrums, I never see them so she is a dream come true. Who would have thought there would be a silver lining in a divorce/re-marriage!

As much as I hate my dad being married to Roberta, I don't hate either of them. Roberta is nice, just VERY quiet. Too quiet for my taste. And my dad... well you know. He's not the nicest person, but he does have his good days.

On my mother's side, I love Jake. He is amazingly nice, buys me Yamis randomly to perk up my day, and has made my mom happier than I've ever seen her. I have to say though, I am greatly relieved that they will not be getting married, however Jake is planning on inding a job down here and moving here sometime in the future. *sigh* Sometimes I wish you could stop the people you love from sinning. But of course, we can't.

So all in all, the stress may still be killer (especially on my poor neck and shoulders) but I have become a better person from it. I know that I will do everything in my power to keep my kids from suffering the same fate my brother and I did.

Ah, stress. Don't you know you're not wanted?

Change.....

I was doing so great there for awhile.... Then all this happened.


I am not one for change. AT ALL. I love my friends, and I need them to be there for me. That is just who I am. So to be treated like I am not missed.... It hurts. It's not a painful hurt though, just a sad hurt. Like I know it'll never be the same again.

And now.... I realize I am the only one who is not really changing. My friends are all leaving and becoming who they are supposed to be.... While I'm stuck here wondering what my purpose in life is. Maybe Cameron is right; maybe I need to go to Ecola. Maybe a year away from the stress of life will be good for me. Maybe I just need time to adjust. I don't know.

I do know that I miss the way things were. I miss my old friends.... Finding them again and not being able to sit down and find out what went wrong is heartbreaking. Don't get me wrong, I lost them for a reason. But it still hurts.

I just feel like everyone is growing up so fast..... And I'm being left behind....

I also am dealing with a situation that it is nice to be a part of again..... But I am afraid of how things will turn out because I don't want to lose friends over it.

Why does life have to hit you with so much? I know I need to change but I already have so much.....

I am not fond of change.

OLD friends

I just got requested on FB by Gabi Himschoot :O

Now I'm sure none of you have any idea who that is. (Except Leanne, because I told her.) She is a VERY old friend of Leanne Wilson and I, who used to live in Salem. I actually went to her Catholic Church one time :) Very interesting! Anyway, she moved to Canada before even Leanne moved. So it's been a long time. I cried when I saw the request, lol.

And THEN, I looked up another old friend of Gabi, Caitlin Faber, and myself, Sarah Eliason. I FOUND HER!!!! I requested her, so hopefully she'll remember me. It's funny, because she used to be blonde and now she's DARK brunette. But I'm so happy :) I miss all my old friends. Not that I don't love all of you guys ;) Buy you know.

So yeah, my sappy self is going to go cry now ;D