Contemplation....

I'm just wondering what is happening with everyone lately... Everything is changing and I'm not sure if it's all for the good...

A friend has changed so much... I have too.... But I feel it's for the better, and now she is like the opposite of me, like we switched personalities.... And it's hard to accept... I'm not sure what to do because I love her and she's a great friend but I'm not sure I can deal with the personality change...

Relationships are falling apart, both bf/gf ones and friendships... Another friend is losing her bf of almost 8 months and is telling me about it... It's hard because I can't and won't choose sides... But I hurt for both of them... And my dad is getting married New Year's Eve and is having major issues with Roberta... Why are relationships so hard? The one most important one in my life I feel is falling apart... And it hurts... But I wonder if it's just me...

I realized this weekend how much my mom means to me.... She was gone from Friday until Sunday evening, but I didn't see her Friday so I missed her so much... And not only did she come back, but she brought back squeaky cheese, egg nog and Dr. Pepper... I love her so much and I'm so glad I chose to live with her.

Life just feels so dead... I feel like I'm just going through life and nothing is happening except that I'm maturing and becoming mellow and everyone else is changing to the way I was... Is that a good thing or not? I don't know what to do anymore.