Goodbye my dear.

I can't stop crying. : (

I said goodbye to my best friend tonight. That was the hardest thing I have ever done. It was even harder than saying goodbye to Leanne Wilson. I know I can Skype her, and she'll try to visit for square dancing, but if not I won't see her until December.

I'm already counting down the days.

Goodbye my dear, I wil miss you with all my heart. You are my best friend and mean everything to me. You always say you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and it's true. Who knows where I'd be without you? So good luck in Seattle, they're lucky to have you.

I love you.

Fairies!

I love the Sugar Plum Fairy. I just thought you all should know that. : )

My mind is spinning...

I have a lot on my mind right now.

I realized for the first time today, I really don't know what I want to do with my life. Science? Yeah I love it, but do I really want to be in front of tons of kids each day telling them how to do it? Computers? Oh yeah, but I'm not sure I could deal with PC over Mac. What do I really want to do? I honestly don't know. God, I need some serious help.

I should be doing my paper right now, but I have no desire. I know vaguely what I want to write, but I have 40 minutes until Nicki's here and with my luck, I'll just start getting it when she comes. Why does college have to be so lame?

I know a few of my closest friends (BB and LB, you know who you are!) are a bit upset/disappointed/frustrated with me right now, but I don't know how I can fix that. My mother doesn't think anything is wrong, no matter what I tell her. I'm don't know what to do.

D-Day is coming. 4 days. I haven't cried about it in awhile, but I know once it comes, I'll be crying... But I almost wonder if I'm beginning to accept it. Not that that is a bad thing, but I'm wondering how such an emotional person like me can accept something so impacting before it even happens. I know I will accept it someday, but I'm not sure now is that time. Too many things are happening, and I just feel like all my life support systems are being pulled out one by one and I'm dying. I know I'll be fine eventually, but that's really going to take a long, long, time.

Well, now that I have the first paragraph of my paper written, I suppose I should start writing. Tonight is the last night our whole group will be together for a long time, and I know I'm going to cry. But life goes on, and not everyone is a part of it.

Have a nice day, night, week, month, year, and life. : )

Zooey Deschanel and her awesomeness.

I have recently

become obsessed with Zooey Deschanel, and found out to my extreme delight she's guest starring with her sister Emily on Bones!!!!! I will now take this time to post some pictures of the absolutely gorgeous actress. Thank you for your time. :D

This really cool one with multiple pics will be my laptop background once I can get it to work. :D

I'm sorry : (

I know you're mad at me, but I'm not really sure what to do. My mom had a suggestion for us to do something, but you're not even speaking to me. : (

It hurts to know one of your best friends is mad at you for something you can't control. I really am sorry, you know. And you know who you are. : ( I hope you can forgive me...

Fall shows!

I'm so excited! :D I was looking at a magazine article about all the upcoming fall shows, and I get to record 3! Bones, Vampire Diaries, and Lie to Me! I'm so excited, I could explode! :DDD

Blehh.

I don't really know what to say, but I feel like I need to say something.

With only 10 days left, I'm feeling more lost each day. Everyone says "You've be fine", "It's only for awhile", etc., but on the inside I wonder if I'll ever really be okay. Every day is either a day of constant crying and depression, or one of fights and anger. It really makes me wonder if this is gonna last. Sorry for saying this, but maybe it's time to be over? I really don't want it to be, but I just can't take this anymore.

I really am done.

So much for best friends.

You call someone your best friend because you expect they'll always be there for you. You expect if you'd had a crappy day, they'd be there to offer you a hug or just a time for you to spill it all out to them.

I cried twice tonight because of something my so-called best friends said and made fun of me for. Then to make matters worse, I asked one of my friends if they were taking me home, and it turned out neither of them were going to because they were going somewhere else and weren't going to tell me. I felt like I had been slapped. I am still fighting back tears as I type this from the van on the way back.

So now as I sit here with my thoughts and emotions spiralling down, I wonder what the point of best friends are. Because I really have no idea.

Memories resurface...

I have so many thoughts spinning around in my head.

I thought I was over him, but yesterday's conversation...

I'm not so sure anymore.

I have 13 days left to fix problems, and then this surfaces. What am I supposed to do? My friends and my head tell me one thing, but my heart says another...

I just want to know what to do.

College?!

I started my first college class today. Rather boring, but it was good I suppose. Can't wait for computers! : ) I will miss my two besties though... And Tyler. : (

Photo test

Why is it the closer you get to college, the worse your friendships are? I'm not saying my friends are bad, it's the fights. I'm fighting more with all of them. One I'm spending the next year together! College is supposed to be where you make your true friends. Is that why my friendships are disappearing?

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FWEE!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so excited right now!!!!!!!! : D

For those who don't know, I am a MAJOR Myst fan! Myst is a computer game series that was based for Macs before spreading to PC. I own all of them except for the most recent one (which I am hoping to get soon!) and now... I BOUGHT THE BOOKS BASED ON THE GAMES!!!!! I found the full reader that has all 3 books on eBay, and I won!!! Woo!!!!!! It was only $9 including shipping. I can't wait for it to get here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

: DDDDD