What to Expect From Keys to My Life in the Coming Weeks

Hi friends! You may have noticed the absence of my vlog for Monday, and the delayed post for today. I have some important news about Keys to My Life for the next few months while I'm in Florida, which I'm sharing today.

I've only been in Florida for a week and a half now, but it's been busy. For the last five days I've been working 6-8 hour shifts which requires lots of walking and not a lot of sleep. I thought that based on my last program I would be able to continue balancing my blog with work and play. Unfortunately I've had no time to vlog, or even edit the little vlogging I've done, or research the blog posts I have planned.

On top of that, I've dealing with one of the worst bouts of depression in awhile - one that is causing me to doubt all of my friendships. Many of my friends are spending their days off in the parks - as they should - but it's often on days I am working so I feel lonely when I'm not able to go. My friends from back home don't have much communication with me, even the friends I would consider to be best friends, so when I'm home alone on days like today, the lonliness gets even worse.

So how am I going to deal with this, and keep my blog running? I'm not. I am taking a break from consistent 3x weekly blogging. Now that doesn't mean I won't continue to blog about my experiences in Florida, or do the occasional update. I definitely will, and I plan to continue vlogging during my adventures! But for now, I can't continue full-time blogging. It's mentally exhausting me and I can't add any other stress to what I'm already dealing with.

I could use some prayers and support. I'm going back and forth between sitting in my room watching Netflix alone all day, to working 8 hour shifts at a location that isn't what I was hoping for. (More on that later.) I just need to know there are people out there that still care about me and are thinking about me. I know I'm oversensitive right now, but any support I get helps. Thanks for continuing to follow my life and adventures!

How Depression and Anxiety Hamper Goal-Setting

I've mentioned before that my depression and anxiety can severely affect many aspects of my life, from personal, to work, to my faith. Today I'm going to talk a little bit about how my depression and anxiety affect goal-setting, but especially goal-setting for larger goals and projects.

It's only been the last few months that I've seriously started working on my blog as more than a hobby, and as a potential stream of income. However, with that focus has come a lot of extra goals to work towards. Those goals are often lofty goals, and I can get easily overwhelmed just thinking about them.

The biggest goal that my mental illnesses are currently affecting is our goal to get out of debt using Dave Ramsey's debt snowball method. We currently have almost $100,000 in debt from student loans, and for two 20-somethings with low-paying jobs, that's a lot of money we're throwing away each year in payments. How do I keep myself from becoming overwhelmed with these big goals? Here are some of my tips.

1. Break the goal into smaller chunks

It's easier to tackle a lofty goal if you break it into smaller chunks. For example, we're working on paying off the smallest loan first and moving forward from there, rather than putting a lot of extra money towards all of our loans at once.

2. Set a timeline for when certain benchmarks are completed

One of my blogging goals is to continue and grow my social media and blog following. In order to keep from getting overwhelmed by all the accounts I manage, I choose one or two a month to work on, and choose a number or percentage to grow by at the end of that month. It gives me something to work towards and keeps me from working at one goal for too long.

3. Have someone to keep you accountable on working towards those goals

One of the reasons I post my monthly goals each month is not only to have it written in front of me, but also so you, my readers, can keep me accountable with my goals each month! It keeps from me slacking, as well as getting to overwhelmed with the goals I set for myself.

My depression and anxiety can really kick me in the butt when it comes to getting stuff accomplished. That doesn't mean goal-setting is impossible, it just means I have to have a plan for my goals and work towards those goals each month.

How do you tackle goals? Do you find certain techniques work for you in goal-setting?

Depression: The Silent Friend

Hi everyone! I just want to thank you all for the continued support these last few weeks, especially on our Disney College Program series. Today I'm changing it up pretty drastically with something that's been on my mind quite a bit lately.

It's no secret that I have depression. It's something I've mentioned a few times, from my diagnosis, to my connection with the movie Inside Out. Depression is a part of who I am. Sometimes though, I get so used to it, that I don't always recognize when it rears its ugly head.

Depression comes in different severities, and it can change over different seasons of life. Currently I live in the Pacific Northwest in January, which means lots and lots of rain. Very little sun peeks through the clouds for months. Not only that, but my job is rough and there are a lot of hard days. Nick and I are getting ready to move across the country, so there's just a lot going on.

This would be the worst time to get hit with even a mild bout of depression, right? It happened anyway. These last few nights I've been getting tired by 7 pm or so and then getting emotional and whiny for the amount of time I stay up after that. I wake up nauseous and tired, yet jet off to work for nine hours. It's a vicious cycle, and it keeps getting worse.

Thankfully I only have three more days of work here, and less than two weeks until we're in sunny Florida. I don't think this bout will completely go away once we move, but I do think the change and the warmth will be a big help. I may not always notice my depression, but it's there. Always.

Depression is one of the quietest things I have to deal with. I don't often hear it until its too late; it's become my silent friend.

Do you know anyone who struggles with depression? How do they cope with the easier seasons of depression?

It's Happened

The one thing I have been avoiding has happened.

...I've officially been diagnosed with depression.

It sounds funny. It shouldn't be a big deal.

But it is.

I don't want to be labeled.

I know, I know.

"Depression isn't a label!" It doesn't define you." "You're so much more than that!"

I've spent half of my life fighting this; trying to convince myself this isn't who I am. But now it's clear it's entirely who I am.

I'm going to try and come to terms with this diagnosis. I'm going to have to, after all. It's not going away anytime soon.

A day later, I'm doing better. I'm less shell-shocked than I was. After all, I went in just to talk about counseling; I wasn't expecting to leave with a diagnosis. However, I'm realizing that this isn't just who I am. I am more than this. I can get through this, with my own strength, God's strength, and the support of my friends and family. I will not let this define me.

So what now?

My doctor has a referral in for counseling, hopefully in the next couple of weeks since my cutting is still an issue. She also ordered some labs centered around my fatigue to see if it is from the depression or if it's something else, such as a lack of some nutrient.

I will still live my life. I will still push on. And I will get better. Day by day.