How Depression and Anxiety Hamper Goal-Setting

I've mentioned before that my depression and anxiety can severely affect many aspects of my life, from personal, to work, to my faith. Today I'm going to talk a little bit about how my depression and anxiety affect goal-setting, but especially goal-setting for larger goals and projects.

It's only been the last few months that I've seriously started working on my blog as more than a hobby, and as a potential stream of income. However, with that focus has come a lot of extra goals to work towards. Those goals are often lofty goals, and I can get easily overwhelmed just thinking about them.

The biggest goal that my mental illnesses are currently affecting is our goal to get out of debt using Dave Ramsey's debt snowball method. We currently have almost $100,000 in debt from student loans, and for two 20-somethings with low-paying jobs, that's a lot of money we're throwing away each year in payments. How do I keep myself from becoming overwhelmed with these big goals? Here are some of my tips.

1. Break the goal into smaller chunks

It's easier to tackle a lofty goal if you break it into smaller chunks. For example, we're working on paying off the smallest loan first and moving forward from there, rather than putting a lot of extra money towards all of our loans at once.

2. Set a timeline for when certain benchmarks are completed

One of my blogging goals is to continue and grow my social media and blog following. In order to keep from getting overwhelmed by all the accounts I manage, I choose one or two a month to work on, and choose a number or percentage to grow by at the end of that month. It gives me something to work towards and keeps me from working at one goal for too long.

3. Have someone to keep you accountable on working towards those goals

One of the reasons I post my monthly goals each month is not only to have it written in front of me, but also so you, my readers, can keep me accountable with my goals each month! It keeps from me slacking, as well as getting to overwhelmed with the goals I set for myself.

My depression and anxiety can really kick me in the butt when it comes to getting stuff accomplished. That doesn't mean goal-setting is impossible, it just means I have to have a plan for my goals and work towards those goals each month.

How do you tackle goals? Do you find certain techniques work for you in goal-setting?

Making a Plan: Bringing God Back to Number One

Hi everyone! I'm back after a week-long break. I spent some time in deep thought and reevaluation of the priorities in my life, and on my blog. It has been a rough couple of weeks because of my depression, and as a result, my faith in God has severely fallen to the wayside.

My struggles with depression are not new. I've dealt with it in some form since early high school. However, these last couple of months have been the worst bout of depression I've ever had to deal with. Two of my most severe symptoms are wanting to sleep all the time, and having no interest in things I used to love.

Because I've been losing so much interest in hobbies and passions, my Bible reading and prayer has also been affected. I haven't done my daily bible reading for almost three weeks now. For a Christian, that's basically spiritual suicide. I'm feeling the affects of that spiritual suicide every day.

Not having a full relationship with God is affecting everything in life for me. I feel like simple problems that I could normally handle are getting blown out of proportion and taking over my life. It's become nearly impossible for me to even do simple tasks without becoming overwhelmed.

I hate that I've gotten to this point. I hate that I've let a monster like depression take over my life and basically ruin it for me. It has to stop. It will stop - now.

It's time to make a plan. I'm asking all of my readers to keep me accountable, alongside the people I see and live with every day. It's easy for me to make this plan, but it's hard to stick to it.

1. Read a chapter of Psalms every day

Psalms is so refreshing to read! There are so many reminders of how God cares for us even in that book alone. Reading it daily will refocus my mind on why God should be number one and how I can continue to see Him that way.

2. Pray as soon as I wake up, and before going to bed

I hope to pray more than this throughout the day, but starting with these two times will help to focus my mind into a more continuous conversation with God, rather than a forced assignment.

3. Spend a few minutes before bed talking with Nick each day about any doubts or problems I have

I don't voice my emotions and concerns as much as I should. I'm hoping this will encourage me to not bottle things up nearly as much.

These three goals are simple, but I know over time they will have huge positive results. I plan on including these goals in my monthly goal recaps as well, so within a few weeks I may some some progress to share with all of you!

Do you have any other suggestions for me? Do you have any specific verses that may help me?

Blogtember Challenge: Day 3

Hi everyone! Today I'm back with day 3 of the Blogtember Challenge. Today we're sharing a collage or mood board of photos that describe our blog!

I'm a lifestyle blog, but I focus on a few main topics: Disney, mental illness, and my engagement and upcoming wedding.

One of my favorite shows at Disneyland is Fantasmic! - and Steamboat Willie is the best part! I can't count how many times we watched this show during our program.

Frozen is my favorite Disney movie! I am obsessed with Anna (she is totally me in a princess) and I want to own every piece of Disney merch available. No joke. (Nick might kill me though...)

Depression is dark. It makes you feel isolated from the world - almost as if everything is blurry. It's hard to function like this everyday.

This kid is my absolute favorite, and I don't think I could ever stop sharing our engagement photos. Can't wait to marry him next month!

Inside Out: How it Impacted My Mental Illness Journey

Hi everyone! Today I'm going to be sharing a post that has been a huge part of my life this past week. On Sunday night, the Nick and I went with the in-laws to the Kelso Theater Pub to see Inside Out. I had read online before seeing it that the movie, and Sadness specifically, were a great insight to depression and mental illness. However, nothing could have prepared me for how much the movie touched me.

I knew I would cry at some point during the movie, because I don't think I've ever watched a movie with a sad or happy element that I didn't at least tear up. However, I started crying before the movie had even started. Pixar paired Inside Out with the short "Lava", which is about a volcano singing of true love and his journey to find that special someone. The short tugged at my heartstrings and yes, I teared up. But no big tears, yet.

Then Inside Out started. It opens up with a beautiful scene where it's just Joy and Riley; no other emotions have been born yet. That's all broken when Sadness appears.

Disclaimer: There may be spoilers in the remainder of this post. I will do my best to keep things away from spoiler territory, but if you don't want to know anything about the movie, stop reading now.

As the five emotions are introduced, we see how they are actually more like "umbrella" emotions, meaning other types of emotions fall under their main emotion. The five emotions work together to take care of Riley and see her through the day-to-day events.

On one particular day. Riley's parents announce they are moving from Minnesota to San Francisco, CA. It turns out to be quite a culture shock for Riley, and everything begins to go downhill.

Joy, being the ever optimistic one, tries to find the bright side in the rough situations Riley and her parents are in. But Sadness makes one mistake, and ends up getting lost in long-term memory with Joy - the one emotion that can keep Riley happy.

From there, we see how with Joy gone, Riley can't feel happy - it's impossible. The other three emotions, Disgust, Anger and Fear, try to keep Riley functioning, but they struggle to the point that they lose control of Riley's emotions entirely.

It's clear to me that Pixar did their research before writing this movie. The entire movie was like watching myself go through a depressive episode. When I mentioned I cried through the entire movie, I wasn't kidding. I never stopped crying. Not even once. I was even crying off and on for a good hour after the movie, because it impacted me so much.

What a lot of people don't understand about depression is that it's usually something the depressed person cannot control. Like the movie shows, you lose all ability to feel joy or happiness. Sadness takes over until it gets to the point when you lose the ability to feel anything at all.

You lose joy in activities that used to make you happy, like hockey was for Riley. You lose the ability to make rational decisions, and you make huge decisions that can have major, negative impacts on life.

The part of the movie that really got to me was when Joy realized that Sadness had value as one of Riley's emotions. Without Sadness, many of the core memories that Joy created were caused by a moment with Sadness right before. Sadness was crucial to Riley's personality. Sadness had value.

For me, it's hard to wrap my mind around the thought that depression can have value. I focus on my weaknesses, and the negative situations my depression has led me through. But I need to remember that there are also some great joyful memories that depression has led me to.

Depression is a big part of my personality, even if it's not the first thing people notice when they meet me. Even in my more depressive bouts, depression doesn't define me. But it is still a part of me. It has value as a part of who I am, because I have value. Little reminders like those are the things that keep me going day after day,

Here's the main point I'm trying to make. While Inside Out may not have a princess or a love story with a handsome prince, it does have truth. It shows the outside world what depression is really like on the inside, and helps those of us with depression express ourselves better.

Pixar, keep it up. We need more movies like Inside Out to show us hard truths.