I had no idea how much this was going to hurt the people here.....
For those who don't know, I will most likely be moving back home next semester and going back to CCC. Basically I'm leaving at Christmas break, and probably for good. I finally told a few people yesterday: Megan, Amber, Aleaha and Kirsten.
Every reaction was different. Amber didn't say much, just listened to me cry about it. Megan looked totally shocked, which made me cry again. I told Kirsten next and she freaked saying we needed to find me scholarships because I couldn't leave. And then Aleaha almost looked hurt, like I wanted to leave or something.
Later I ended up talking to Kirsten about how everyone's reactions were different, and specifically Amber's because she didn't react much. Then Kirsten told me that Amber was actually really upset and had told Kirsten about how upset she was.
I didn't even know what to say. I started crying again. When I brought it up with Amber at dinner, she got really quiet and wouldn't talk much. All she really said was "Well yeah, I mean I don't want you to leave." It broke my heart. I honestly didn't know it would affect her that much. Now I feel like some big jerk who is leaving and ripping apart all the friendships I've made here.
Anyone have $14,000 for me to continue here all year?
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I hope you find a way out soon. This is really sad. I wish I could help but I myself am an international student on a budget. I know it's really hard when you have a tight budget and do nothing about it. Hope your prayers get answered soon. Don't give up. You still have a long way to go. There must be something better in store for you :) Best wishes.
ReplyDeleteAriel - I'm sorry. :( :( I will be praying for you. And it's not your fault and they'll understand that, even if they are sad that you have to go. Don't give up hope yet. Enjoy the time you still have there and you never know, maybe God will provide some way, some how.... I love you. :) Above all, put your hope and trust in God.
ReplyDeletePraying for you, Rachel