Keys to My Life

I'm a fairly shy person around people I don't know. It takes a lot for me to just walk up to a person and say hi or introduce myself if I don't know them. Transferring to Fox this year has helped to change that a little bit. I've learned that all of the incoming class was in the same boat: they were all brand new and in desperate need of friends. I quickly bonded with quite a few freshman because of this. Most of my friends here are freshman; I'm only friends with a handful of sophomores and even fewer upperclassmen. For those students who already have friends, they are always willing to meet more people. The connections I've made here have helped me to become more outgoing in amazing ways. However, I still get shy at the strangest of times. Today I was sitting at Multnomah while the best friend had a meeting. Instead of sitting near others or introducing myself to anyone, I sat in the corner by myself playing computer games until Macy died, and then I wrote this post.

I don't understand how sometimes I can be totally outgoing and introduce myself to a random visiting student and invite her to eat lunch at our table (yes, I have done this) and other times I stutter or clam up. I've noticed in most of the times I'm shy, I'm being introduced to someone by one of my friends or I'm in their "territory". I'm sure part of it is a matter of self-esteem; I'm constantly comparing myself to others, especially my closest friends. Times like this help me realize the faults I still have to work on. After all, I'm not perfect and I never will be.