Change.....

I was doing so great there for awhile.... Then all this happened.


I am not one for change. AT ALL. I love my friends, and I need them to be there for me. That is just who I am. So to be treated like I am not missed.... It hurts. It's not a painful hurt though, just a sad hurt. Like I know it'll never be the same again.

And now.... I realize I am the only one who is not really changing. My friends are all leaving and becoming who they are supposed to be.... While I'm stuck here wondering what my purpose in life is. Maybe Cameron is right; maybe I need to go to Ecola. Maybe a year away from the stress of life will be good for me. Maybe I just need time to adjust. I don't know.

I do know that I miss the way things were. I miss my old friends.... Finding them again and not being able to sit down and find out what went wrong is heartbreaking. Don't get me wrong, I lost them for a reason. But it still hurts.

I just feel like everyone is growing up so fast..... And I'm being left behind....

I also am dealing with a situation that it is nice to be a part of again..... But I am afraid of how things will turn out because I don't want to lose friends over it.

Why does life have to hit you with so much? I know I need to change but I already have so much.....

I am not fond of change.