Seasonal Depression

Yeah... so I haven't posted on here in over a month. But here we go.

This week was insane. It started out okay, and then from about 9PM Monday night to about 10PM Wednesday night it became one of the worst 48 hour time frames of my life. I cried way more than I have in awhile, and made way too many phone calls to people to cry and vent. Apparently that was not enough, because although my week got better, I found out all 7 of my roommates from Fox went to a birthday dinner for one of them, and did not invite me. Not a big deal, because I'm not there, right? Normally yes, but they also invited the Kelsey that left Fox when I did... so I felt really left out. And it was only made worse because I've been missing Fox so much lately that even mentioning it to someone causes me to start crying.

On top of THAT, I was really hoping to see someone this morning and get a hug from them, because they had told me they would be home. They didn't come home... and I was really upset. I don't even know why. I think it's because without my best friend here it's really hard for me to cope without having those three people around that I go to for hugs and venting... and that person is one of them. I kind of lost it... called them a liar. Sigh. I don't understand my mood swings.

Normally this isn't surprising, because I live in Oregon and pretty much have what is called "seasonal depression". Basically it occurs in very snowy or rainy areas, and usually during winters months. People affected by it get depressed more often in the winter, and mainly just because of the weather. This week has suddenly hit 70s and 80s and is sunny, so my mood has considerably improved... but I'm still having these mood swings which don't make sense.

I don't know why I get like this. It's just as frustrating for me as it is for the people that I take it out on. I just want to be happy again.