Entering Into the World of Planners!

I recently decided to start using a planner to keep my life organized and on track! With work, wedding planning, and blogging, it can get hectic. Check out my newest adventure and a fun planner sticker review!

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Reminicing

I went back and from some of my old blogs from 2009. Oh, the memories.

That was a really hard year for me. I have absolutely no desire to repeat. My emotions were on the worst roller coaster of my life, and I was being hit with one things after another. I was miserable.

So much has changed since then. Not only have a I gotten older, but I would like to think I've gotten more mature as well. And many of my friends have done the same.

I've done some crazy things these last 5 years; things I would never have imagined I would get to do. I don't regret any of them.

I am who I am because of everything that has happened these past 5 years, started with everything in 2009. They have shaped me into who I am today, and I wouldn't change any of it.

Yay Vlog!

Because this is such a loooooong update, I'm making you watch it to find out what I'm up to ;) It involves a crazy boyfriend, Disney, apartments, lack of a cat, and much more! It's worth it, I promise!

Another Update

Hi everybody!

I know it has been foreverrrrrrr since I posted here. I promise I will be updating you all with how the rest of my program went soon!

For now, I have something else exciting in the works. Stay tuned!

For now as a sneakpeek, I'll leave this little gem: (plus I need to upload it online somewhere :P)

Testimony

I don't have the most glamorous testimony. I often don't like to share it because of how unique it is.

Because of certain incidents, I spent a majority of my childhood believing I was saved, when I was not and I fooled everyone, including myself, into believing I was. When I finally realized I wasn't, I was already in high school. I've only really been saved for about five years.

Five years isn't a long time, so it makes sense that I'm not as strong of a Christian as I would like to be. But because I spent so long thinking I was saved, sometimes it is frustrating that I'm not where I would like to be in my walk. It's a daily struggle to accept who I am.

This post isn't much like my usual posts, I know. I just had this one my mind and wanted to give you guys a little bit of insight into who I am.

Seasonal Depression

Yeah... so I haven't posted on here in over a month. But here we go.

This week was insane. It started out okay, and then from about 9PM Monday night to about 10PM Wednesday night it became one of the worst 48 hour time frames of my life. I cried way more than I have in awhile, and made way too many phone calls to people to cry and vent. Apparently that was not enough, because although my week got better, I found out all 7 of my roommates from Fox went to a birthday dinner for one of them, and did not invite me. Not a big deal, because I'm not there, right? Normally yes, but they also invited the Kelsey that left Fox when I did... so I felt really left out. And it was only made worse because I've been missing Fox so much lately that even mentioning it to someone causes me to start crying.

On top of THAT, I was really hoping to see someone this morning and get a hug from them, because they had told me they would be home. They didn't come home... and I was really upset. I don't even know why. I think it's because without my best friend here it's really hard for me to cope without having those three people around that I go to for hugs and venting... and that person is one of them. I kind of lost it... called them a liar. Sigh. I don't understand my mood swings.

Normally this isn't surprising, because I live in Oregon and pretty much have what is called "seasonal depression". Basically it occurs in very snowy or rainy areas, and usually during winters months. People affected by it get depressed more often in the winter, and mainly just because of the weather. This week has suddenly hit 70s and 80s and is sunny, so my mood has considerably improved... but I'm still having these mood swings which don't make sense.

I don't know why I get like this. It's just as frustrating for me as it is for the people that I take it out on. I just want to be happy again.

Distracted

I haven't updated in awhile, so here's a quick one.

I have finals this week. I'm trying to write my business final paper, but I'm writing this instead. Why? Because once again, I'm over-thinking and reading into people's words.

You say I'm fine... and I believe you. Don't get me wrong, I do. I just don't want to go back to where we were last week. Today was the first time in a few weeks I was happy to talk to you! It shouldn't be that way. Not at all.

I am not trying to make you feel guilty. I'm the one at fault here, I know that. Like I said, I worry. I read into things. It's not healthy, and it certainly doesn't help any of my relationships.

The only thing I can do now is try and move past what's happened. Of course, that's going to be hard. That's who I am, I cling to the past. I'm learning everyday how to do it. I just hope you'll stick by me. I love you.

I realized something today.

I keep telling myself that someday I’ll find the perfect guy. In reality? He will never be perfect.

We’re all human, so we’re all flawed. Anyone I fall in love with, and whoever I marry will always have flaws. He won’t be perfect, but we will be the perfect guy for me.

Along with that, I realize I will never be perfect. I have flaws, and I always will. I’m emotional, I worry way too much, I’m too cuddly, I can be immature, but that’s who I am. I will always have flaws. If someone can’t accept me with those flaws, then they aren’t worth it.

Someday, I’ll find a man who sees my flaws and loves each and every one of them :)

Great Sunday turned sad...

For those who are my Facebook friends, you probably saw that just an hour or so ago I posted that today was a perfect Sunday. I went on to read all my blogs, and discovered that the author one of my most inspirational ones passed away last night.

To most people, this would seem sad, but not such a big deal. To me, it's a huge deal.

Yeah, she was just a blogger and I never even met her, but her story was, is, so inspirational! She went through so much physical and emotional pain, and yet she still trusted that God was taking care of her. It just amazes me how someone can have that kind of faith, the kind where they don't even question God for a second.

But I know that people will continue to come across her blog and read her amazing life, and she will continue to touch people's lives.

Sara was an inspiration to me in her life, and I know she will continue to be in her death. Please go and read her amazing story, she truly deserves to have it read.

Memories...

I started going through all of my old Facebook photos, deciding whether or not to keep them or delete them. I have WAY too many, but on top of that my mom found a bunch of my photos on her laptop that I have to transfer, and I might need to upload them :P

Going through the last few years however, I realized just how much I have grown. I’ve gone through so many hairstyles and colors, on a bunch of trips, and met a bunch of new friends.

I am so blessed to be where I am today. I know I haven’t learned everything I need to know in life, but I also know that God will make sure I do. My life is far from over :)

I can’t wait to see what is in store for me in the next few years!

And I knowwww that I haven't updated this blog in almost a month! I'm so so sorry :( Life has been CRAZY. I will try and be better! Hope everyone is having a great summer!